Confessions of High School Senior-dom

I've heard a lot of people say that being a high school senior is amazing and fun and a blast the whole time. I've decided that those people were full of crap. Simply put, senior year is nowhere near it's cracked up to be, and here's why...

1. College... stuff: Let's face it, planning your future isn't fun. I guess I was told this, but not in all that great of detail. I hate in when the counseling department comes into your class and says, "If you don't turn in your applications by Halloween you won't get into the school you want to," or at least that's how it came off to me. So for those of us lazy people, we're still working on them. That brings me to my next thing, essays for applications. Seriously colleges, I need more than 200 or 300 words to express my thoughts. (Heck, up to "thoughts" was 150 words and I'm just getting warmed up). And come up with some original prompts, seriously, I can only write on "How I would contribute to the school because it's a diverse place" so many times before I want to go run naked in the snow (that's an example of going crazy for you people who are sitting there thinking "EWW").

2. "Lasts": It's your last year of high school, HUZZAH! And yet then there's all those other "lasts". The last year you'll probably see a lot of the friends you made in high school. The last time you get to do high school extra-curriculars. I got to do Moby Dick the Musical and I'm doing Newsies for plays as a high schooler, but unfortunately, my first times are going to be my last. I know that colleges have play and stuff too, but those are definately filled with theater majors who are all pima-dona about their theater "my way or the highway" actors. Pass on that one. The last year you get to have some of the coolest teachers ever. I'm going to miss Felton and Linville and a few other teachers who I've gotten to know over the years, and that makes me sad. I'm sure I'll like my professors a lot in college (and beyond), but I don't think I'll be able to get to the personal level I've gotten with some of my high school teachers.

3. Tying up everything: This isn't a problem yet, but it will be in August/September. Unless I go to CU I'll have to hand over the Molon Labe airsoft team over to another guy, that's twice in less than a year that the team will have been turned over, I don't want to do that. Odds are we're going to start planning a big OP, but if I have to leave before that gets done, well shoot, I'd hate to leave before A) I can play in it, and/or B) before it can even get done with planning. I guess that's really the only "tying up loose ends thing" but I'm sure more will pop up sooner or later.

4. Singles wards: Yeah... 'nuff said. Graduating means going to the singles ward... that's a frightening enough thought right there.

5. Money: So you're supposed to be saving money for college and stuff during your senior year right? Well it's kind of hard to get a job when you have play practice every night until 5:30, homework, church activities, college app's that need doing and things in a social life. Look's like I might be using the Marty Jasken approach for eating next year, rice and bread.

6. Girls: So... I don't know what to really say here (although I'm about to go off in a stream of consciousness rant). You've made friends all through high school, for me several of them were girls. I'd like to think that I've gotten to be good friends with some of them. And yet, I don't know if they think of me as a friend or the weird kid that they know who has a bunch of guns in his closet. Then, you want to get close to somebody, but they never really let you. So if I'm supposed to meet a girl, do I do a hard and fast "HEY! You wanna go out? I know a great place..." or do I do the chivalry thing where you're actually polite to the girl and treat her like you should? I don't know. I guess I'll leave it there, I could do more, but it would make even less sense than what I just put down up there.

7. Leaving "home": I've lived in Loveland, CO for 18 years. I've never lived anywhere else. It is HOME. The thought of leaving the place that's had my heart and mind for 18 years when I graduate is a sad and almost frightening thought. I've made so many friends here that the thought of having to make new friends somewhere else is equally as frightening for a socially awkward person like me. then again, if I did in in 10 days at NSLC, can't I do in 9 months at college? I guess that one's just been nullified. Shucks

8. Not knowing: The world's a big place. Not knowing what the future holds scares the living crud out of me and annoys the same stuff out of me. I'm usually a very logical person. I like to know what's coming. And the fact that I don't get to even have the slightest idea of what's around the next bend... GAH! It's just one of those things, you know? But I suppose that's how it's supposed to be. I'll let my Heavenly Father steer me where he wants me to go.

9. Still having to take classes: The biggest thing I heard from people is that senior year is fun because you don't have to take that many classes. I'd like to call "bull" on that statement. Colleges want you to keep working yourself to prove that you won't slack off and be useless to them. So here I am taking 3 college level classes and the second highest level German class in school and trying to squish everything else in there. Thanks colleges, but I already learned my lesson about work ethic last school year (4 AP classes, German 3, and an accelerated physics course).

Kara, you're lucky you were a pseudo-senior

I think that's all. Good work, you just got through a really rambly post full of me venting. But hey, it's in the blog description, what were you expecting?